Relationship problems can sometimes feel like the most difficult thing on earth. We want a relationship with another person and yet there is always strife, always problems and it can feel as though you want to give up and not have a relationship.
Depending on who that relationship with it can be something that you are part of each and every day, like that with your partner, or in your place of work. And if it’s not those relationships then it might be the one with a close friend or your Mom and even though it’s a key relationship you don’t interact with them as often so it’s not so in your face all the time.
It really doesn’t matter which of your relationships are happy and working for you. They are all key to your overall happiness aren’t that. They’s what makes having a troubled or difficult relationship so apparent, and something that you want to fix.
No more rosy time with your partner
Your troubled relationship may be with your partner. The one and only for you. You might have just found them, or it may have been someone you have known for a long time. You live together, or have decided to get married and commit to each other.
None of these relationships remains rosy for ever. We all know what it’s like to have the ‘romance’ stage of our relationship turn to the comfortable or wearable stage.
Their habits start to annoy us. We become frustrated with what they do or what they say because it is different to us. We want them to be different, to change, now that we see who they really are.
Relationship problems with your partner are harder to manage because you are part of them each and every day. They tend to make life more difficult. If you’re not living with your partner and seeing them every day, you most likely are in contact each day. The problems are very evident.
Your relationship with your Mum may be strained
This is the most uncomfortable relationship, isn’t it? Your Mum is supposed to be the person that is there for you, the one you can go to when you need a shoulder to cry on. Someone that will listen to YOU. And yet she always talks, or isn’t interested and supportive when you are struggling.
She’s been someone who didn’t really get you, right from an early ago. You wonder what life will be like when you’re a Mom yourself. Will she be there for you to support you?
Your relationship problems with your Mom will most likely sit underneath the surface of all your other relationships. This was the first relationship you developed and so it formed your own understanding of what it is to be ‘in relationship.’
Maybe it’s a work relationship that has you unhappy
You probably work in a business or corporate environment with others. How are all of the relationships you have there? Troubles with your boss, your co-workers? Is this relationship making it difficult for you to turn up at work each and every day. It may be.
There is nothing more difficult than having a problem relationship with a boss or co-worker to dampen your enthusiasm for what you do. It can have you feeling down and edgy, or angry and upset all the time.
Either way it’s not how you want to be spending a large part of your day. And especially not when this is just added onto by an unhappy personal relationship.
Relationship problems at work flow through to your overall feeling of happiness and well being, as along with your partner relationship they can be the other key part of your day to day life. For this reason they get you down when they aren’t functioning in a positive way.
Or is it your best friend?
That girlfriend who has been your bestie for most of your life, or at least you thought that was the case, until she turned on you. Something small might have happened, and maybe you don’t even really know what it was that triggered her reaction.
She might be talking about you in a not so nice way to other friends. Maybe she’s blocked you completely from all of your contact points. Or maybe it’s just really uncomfortable when you go to parties or events where you have mutual friends and she’s there.
This can be the worst relationship problem as it may be the longest relationship you have had. Life with your best friend has endured and outlived boyfriends and workplaces. It’s been the one that’s been there for you, so to have it go wrong is devastating.
Do you have an idea of why your relationship isn’t working?
You might have a clear idea of what’s not working about the relationship. Great! That makes working on it so much easier.
And yet, it’s just as okay not to know. To be stuck and uncertain about what it is that you are or aren’t doing or why you are so unsettled in the relationship.
Sometimes it can feel as though you think you know what the problem is, and you do something to change or fix that, and it doesn’t make any difference.
It may be as simple as your communication not being clear. This can cause problems in any relationship. Or perhaps you aren’t expressing your truth, so the other person can’t express theirs.
How do you want to improve your relationship?
Do you have an idea in your head of what your ideal relationship would be like? What ways do you want to improve your relationship, or maybe it’s relationships?
You might have realized that there are patterns in what’s happening not only in your personal life, also work life and so if you fix one you fix them both.
I’m here to support you to improve your relationships and make them stronger and less stressful.
We’ll work on strategies for each situation that you have. That might be for you to become clearer on your want and how you can speak that out loud. It might be that you find you are too focused on them, and not enough about yourself. That might be a big thing to learn.
The purpose of us working together is so you gain new skills and ways of being in a relationship. Ways that make the relationship work for you, so you’re happy and enjoying it. You get to be you and the other person gets to be themselves too.
Let’s work together for 7 sessions
Let’s make time to work together for seven one hour sessions. That way it gives you time to put into practice the tips and tricks that I will share with you. You’ll be able to also come back and feedback how things are going. It’s not a long commitment, and yet it might just be long enough to make a difference to your life.