Can you react differently when you are emotional?
Have you watched Katie explaining how to be accountable in a situation where you believe you could have reacted differently? Do you notice those situations in your life?
When you are ‘triggered’ do you notice that you react in an automatic way? I do. You might notice afterwards that it was all out war in that moment. You were angry and aggressive towards the other person.
When I’m in that zone the other person doesn’t exist. I find myself giving advice and totally in the other persons business.
Staying in your own business
Katie explains the three kinds of business and the importance of staying in your own business. This is a key thing that I have noticed really shifts the dynamic in these situations.
When I am in my business, I notice that I am more solidly with myself. I’m rational, rather than irrational. Katie also explains that if you are in your business you are more accountable. She says that based on what you are thinking and believing you get angry. This is really true for me.
[pullquote align=”normal” cite=”Byron Katie”] “Our thinking drowns out our ability to be clear, and therefore to express our truth/clarity to others.” [/pullquote]
This is so true for me.
When I’m able to notice my thinking, and stand in my truth to express it, I find the other person hears me and there is no war.
Noticing how you react
Do you notice how often you’re able to stay in your own business or are you often over there in their business?
Do you notice that when you are in their business it is more difficult to be aware of your own truth, and express it?
What I notice is that I often react unconsciously, based on my thinking pattern. Once the situation has occurred only then am I able to stand back and take a look at it, similar to this caller. I then step back into the moment and write out a Judge Your Neighbour worksheet and do The Work on the statements. This brings me to a place of clarity around what the reality of that moment really was i.e. In the moment I reacted and got angry. I accept this and am then able to go back and express to the other person what happened for me. This includes me sharing that I was triggered and therefore not able to express my truth, which was whatever I have found through doing my Work.
I love questioning my think as it allows me to see my clarity, when I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to.