In an article titled ‘Shake off the old job to be happy at work’ Dr Marla Gottschalk talks about dealing with the issues from your past role in order to move on. I agree with the approach. We need to grieve the loss of this job. Until we are able to do that, and accept it is no longer there, we can’t fully move forward.
In her article she raises five areas to consider in order to do this. I would like to take a look at each of these area’s from the perspective of questioning your thinking.
Note the trends
Dr Gottschalk suggests that you acknowledge the patterns that you find, or trends that you note regarding behaviour either in yourself or others. I agree this is a great place to start looking. Notice what it is that you are thinking about your work colleague, for example “They don’t trust me,” “They don’t respect what I do” or perhaps about yourself “They’ll consider my presentation unprofessional.” “They won’t listen to what I have to say.”
Dr Gottschalk asks you to reflect to notice where the pattern may have originated.
There are many patterns that I have found show up in my workplaces and they were all childhood patterns. Those school yard playground issues that I had never gotten over fully. I had never investigated my thinking about them, until I found The Work. You might consider that what shows up at work couldn’t possibly be connected to your childhood, think again!
Keep things in their place
I don’t agree with the sentiments expressed here. What I have noticed is that patterns and situations keep turning up in different ways in my life, be that at home or in my workplace. These ‘patterns’ are lessons for me to learn from. They are therefore occurring where they are occurring. It is okay to notice that they keep happening. It is okay to see that this same feeling you have now was also what occurred with your boss five years ago. What is it that you need to learn from this/these situations? What is it that you are believing about yourself or the situation that feels like a theme in your life?
Share your concerns
I would suggest that you firstly do The Work on the themes, thoughts and beliefs that are showing up. Then you can be clear and express from that point of view what it is that is or isn’t working for you. Even if you don’t speak out to the individuals involved in the ‘issue’ if you are able to understand what it has meant for you, you will be a long way towards getting yourself in a much better space for future roles.
There is a process to work through in your thinking when a job doesn’t work out. It’s about noticing what you are believing about yourself in relation to others in the workplace. You will be glad that you investigated things from this perspective, when you arrive at your new workplace in a more calm and peaceful space.