Some days it can feel as though EVERYONE wants something from you. It’s understandable you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Your partner wants you to follow up on the car insurance because they don’t understand it; then your son wants you to take him to soccer training so you can talk to his coach about which position he is going to play in; on top of that your boss wants you to deliver the monthly sales figures and your team haven’t yet delivered their sales reports after multiple emails and messages asking them to do so; then your Mother calls and asks you to come over and help her replace the batteries in the smoke alarms as they are overdue and she can’t do it. After that day, you arrive home and the dog follows you around wanting YOU to take him for a walk.
If you’re a mother you might specifically add into this mix your need to feed the baby or toddler regularly.
At times like this life can feel so overwhelming. There is no ME time. It seems as though there is no time to take a breath and be with yourself, not even for a short amount of time.
[Tweet "When life feels overwhelming, stop and take a breath."]
The snowball affect
These sorts of days can lead to a build up of anger and frustration. You want to say No, to more than one of these people and feel that you can’t.
You want to scream at your staff who haven’t delivered their sales reports and tell them that you need them to co-operate because your boss is on your back. That of course is not on in the corporate environment. You know that, and hold that frustration in.
When your partner calls to talk about the car insurance, you’re already angry with your staff, and so the snow ball begins. They want you to ring the insurance company. You hear them saying they want you to do it ‘right now.’
You’ve got your own wars to fight in that moment. You get short on the phone and tell them you’ll chase it up later. The anger snowball just got a little bigger.
When you want to say no, and can’t
You really want to tell you partner that it can wait, that you’ll do it tomorrow and you don’t. You’re fearful of the repercussions. Just as you are fearful of the repercussions if you say to your boss that you aren’t able to supply your monthly sales report by the required date.
When your son rings and asks you to take him to soccer your mind is racing as to how you can say no, you don’t have the time, and yet again you are fearful of the repercussions. What is he going to tell other kids about his Dad? What will he think of me?
The anger snowball just got bigger. You want him to see that it can wait. You know he has a strong position on the team. He is a very valued player. You want him to be satisfied with that right now and not need you to weigh into the discussion, not right now.
By the time your Mother calls to ask for your help, your anger is already built up three times larger than it was at the start of the day. She cops an angry outburst from you, about how you don’t have enough time at the moment and you’ll see what you can do. Short, sharp conversation, phone down.
The final straw is you arriving home and the dog presenting you with his collar to be taken for a walk. You ignore him. He doesn’t get to go for a walk.
What a life!
[Tweet "It's okay to so no, when it's your truth."]
Not really the way you want to be living your life is it?
This day is full of stress, anger and fear.
There may be a host of thoughts that are stopping you from responding with your truth in each of these scenarios. How do some of these sound?
- She won’t like me if I say no
- They don’t see I’m busy
- They all want too much from me
- He expects me to help him now
- They should leave me alone
- She shouldn’t expect me to drop everything for them
- They should support me
Life can be more peaceful and you can be in a place of responding with your truth if you question each of these thoughts. They all lead to the emotional build up. The snowball affect is not good for you, or your health. You feel that yourself and don’t understand how easy it is to change it.
Begin by noticing the thoughts that are running through your mind when you have an emotional reaction. Write them down. It’s a great place to start.