Feeling anxious and overwhelmed is so debilitating. You freeze and can’t do anything. You’re so anxious inside. Or, you panic and that makes things worse.
Your mind can’t focus, or it’s running one hundred million miles an hour and you don’t think it will ever stop. You have no idea which way is up.
Confusion reigns in your world. You can’t seem to function normally and it’s not a fun place to be.
Let’s explore what’s going on in that mind of yours that’s causing you to be anxious and overwhelmed.
Worrying about what others will think, say or do isn’t helping you
Is your mind considering your options and all of them seem hopeless because of what the other person is going to think of you?
Are you trying to figure out the best thing you can do so that you don’t end up with verbal abuse, and here I am talking about disagreement or disdain from the other person?
Or maybe you are even in the space of trying hard to figure out what you might do so that you shortcut them doing something that may harm you, or at least cause you more difficulties; more trouble than the place you already see yourself?
Notice in all of these things your mind is focused on THEM and not on YOU. That’s why you feel anxious. You’re anxious because thinking about them and their needs doesn’t match your truth.
Your overwhelm comes from having a mind full of thoughts and options and not tuning into your own truth and gut instinct.
This might be hard to hear. How THEY react and what THEY think is their business and has nothing whatsoever to do with you.
Yes, you heard me. How they are, what they do, how they respond, has NOTHING to do with you.
YOU are allowed to make a decision for you. Wanting to say no, and saying it, is OK. You are allowed to disagree with them and their opinion. Say to yourself ‘I AM ALLOWED’.
Is your mind in the past? That’s why you’re anxious
Perhaps what’s happening is that you’ve gone back to the past and you’re reliving what happened; more specifically how YOU didn’t do the right thing.
Or it may be that you go over and over something that happened wondering and trying to figure out how things could have been different. What could you have done differently? What could you have said that would have made the difference?
When your mind is in the past going over and over things, that can be overwhelming. You get anxious because you are thinking through so much, and for what?
And when you’re in that space, how can you possibly be enjoying or living in the right now, today.
The past is in the past. It happened. You can’t change it. Sure there might be ways to go back and have conversations to change perceptions, and right now is that really where your focus needs to be?
What’s happening for YOU, RIGHT NOW? Bring your focus on how you are feeling and what is happening for you. Ask yourself the question “Am I making the decision that feels right for me, right now?”Notice if you are being honest and expressing YOUR truth.
Stop playing the victim it’s not serving you
You know what this looks like your mind is telling you all the ways you are being badly treated; that you’re the one who should be complaining, not them; that they don’t know how difficult life is.
Being a victim or feeling like a victim is often a safe place for us to be. And yet do you notice that often when you are the victim you are comparing yourself to someone else. You’re again, not focusing on YOU and what YOU want.
When you feel victimized you feel hard done buy and have a reason to tell others about your experience. This in itself is good for you as it gets you the attention that you are craving. Right? Have you ever thought that that is what is happening when you are in this space?
So, when you feel overwhelmed how much of a victim do you think you are? Are you being a two year old having a tantrum because you aren’t getting what you want? Great image, isn’t it.
You feel anxious because you think you aren’t going to get what you want.
Of course being in the future causes overwhelm
Maybe your overwhelm is because you are in the future, thinking about what you have to do, or what might happen. You get anxious just trying to figure out how to manage, and yet you’re not there yet.
Just the thought to trying to figure things out, in itself, causes you to feel extremely anxious. You know you should figure it all out and yet, it seems impossible.
What if you didn’t have to figure it all out, right now? Yes, you don’t need to have it all figured out RIGHT NOW. What if you could take the time to think things through and make a plan? It’s possible you know.
And it is also really okay not to have a plan, to not know. I know that might be scary and you might feel more anxious just reading that sentence. That’s okay.
The whole idea of me raising this as a possibility is for you to stop and notice. There are other options open to you. You may not think you have options, and I’m here to tell you, you do!
Are you running the same stories, doing the same things?
Often in this place of overwhelm and feeling so anxious we feel as though we a trapped and it’s Groundhog Day. You know what that’s like… every days feels the same. The same things happen, the same patterns of you functioning and doing things are occurring. And you might not know how to change it.
The best thing you can do is to notice. Notice that you have the same story running about them. Begin to notice that you are responding in the same way. By noticing you will begin to become aware of the story or record that is running in your mind, over and over again.
Become aware of your standard patterns of response, may help you to begin to get off the treadmill of feeling anxious and overwhelmed.
And SLOW DOWN.
Yes, slow down. Notice that your mind is busy and full most of the time. Take the time to slow down. Really become aware of what you are thinking and what you are feeling.
Anxiety is the label for an overwhelm of emotion. And by becoming aware of your emotions you can support yourself to work through what is really going on for you. And what I mean by that, is your truth.