I’m being cheated on, what do I do?

I’m being cheated on!  Not a great thought to have when in a relationship with someone. And I did. It created a whole sense of devastation and mistrust in my partner. Then my self doubt tipped in, “I’m not good enough” “He wants to be with someone else.”

I love the way that my mind worked, how much suffering I put myself through for weeks on end until I spent time investigating all of the thoughts and beliefs I had around what happened between us.

My thoughts list was long:

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  • He doesn’t want me anymore
  • He doesn’t love me anymore
  • I’m not as beautiful as her
  • She’s better for him than me
  • He wants to be with her
  • He shouldn’t want her more than me
  • I need him to apologise to me
  • I need him to leave


  • She can give him more than I can
  • He wants to be with her
  • He’s cheating on me
  • He’s having an affair
  • I can’t trust him anymore
  • He shouldn’t want to be with her
  • I need him to show me he loves me
  • I need him to understand I’m hurt



Every time her name was mentioned I went into a tail spin. I avoided him when I thought he was talking to her.

I wanted him to go and be with her to get out of my sight, whilst at the same time wanting him to love me the way I believed he loved her.  It was a tough space to be in. All due to my thinking and the story I had woven around what was and wasn’t happening.

Part of me investigating what was happening for me when I was feeling cheated on included watching this Ted Talk by Esther Perel called ‘Rethinking Infidelity‘.  It had me really consider what had occurred leading up to this ‘cheating’ and my part in it.  It also helped me to understand what might have been occurring for him.  We watched it together and discussed what she was saying and how it was relevant for us, and what happened between us.

So, consider what you are thinking and believing about your partner if you think they are cheating.  I found it brought me to a place of peace, investigating each and every thought that came up.

Oh, and all going well I will be having a meal with this’ other woman’ soon.  I’m going to have an open discussion with her about how she sees my partner.  I am curious to know, now.


About Karen Cherrett

Karen has trained as a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie and is also a Holistic Counselor. She wants to be of service to you to improve your love of life and all its experiences. Karen supports individuals, businesses and practitioners.

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