Are you angry at someone else for what they’ve done to you?
[pullquote align=”normal” cite=”Byron Katie”]“No one is ever angry at another human being. We only react to our own unquestioned thoughts and assumptions about them.” [/pullquote]
How many times in your life have you been angry with someone else? If you are like me there are too many to count.
My anger is such an easy thing to trigger when I’m not getting what I want.
- They don’t do something for me – I get angry.
- Something happens and it’s their fault – I get angry.
- They don’t respond the way that I want them to – I get angry.
- They say something that I don’t agree with – I get angry.
- They ignore me – I get angry.
- They criticize me – I get angry.
What’s my anger really about?
If I look at Katie’s statement about what my anger is really about, it is me reacting to my own unquestioned thoughts and assumptions about them.
When I do that I see some very interesting thoughts being triggered:
- They should have done what I wanted
- They shouldn’t say what they did
- They shouldn’t disagree with me
- They should have done…… (whatever it was that happened)
- They shouldn’t have let …… happen.
- They shouldn’t ignore me
- They should pay attention to me
- They shouldn’t criticize me
[Tweet “Anger is simply a reaction to my thoughts and assumptions about others”]
This is where using ‘The Work’ can help you understand what is happening when you get angry. It allows you to look at your beliefs, in the moment, and question what is happening. By doing that you might see that what you thought happened didn’t. How you thought you were treated, didn’t happen. Hard to imagine right now? Try it, you’ll be amazed.
It’s as simple as putting the thoughts down on paper, one belief at a time.